Jesus the Satirist
March 9, 2010 by Administrator
Filed under Motivationals
In our SBNR Motivational The Laughter of Christ, we talked about how Jesus must have had a great sense of humor. Finding examples of the Nazarene’s humor isn’t easy though when reading the Gospels. Some folks have pointed towards Jesus’s admonition that we shouldn’t worry about the speck in our brother’s eye when we have a beam in our own as one example. But that is a bit of a stretch.
All things considered, Jesus the humorist wasn’t likely a joke teller or smug connoisseur of witty epigrams. He undoubtedly was a satirist: the wielder of that eclectic humor which, to this day, continues to be the most effective way to speak truth to power and expose our petty egoism. Stephen Colbert proved this brilliantly in his now legendary take down of President Bush (and the journalists who cover him) at the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
Satire is an insiders’ game. Many people don’t get it, while others think that the satirist is actually serious. It would have been the perfect kind of humor for a prophet like Jesus, who loved to teach in enigmatic parables and metaphors, and who wouldn’t reveal the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven to just anyone.1 He also of course hated hypocrites,2 who are notoriously the subject of so much satire.
Jesus’s greatest bit of satire comes ironically (or perhaps not so ironically) in the episode we celebrate on Palm Sunday. Jesus we are told comes riding into Jerusalem on an ass, and afterwards, being hungry, gets angry at a fig tree for bearing no fruit, even though it is out of season.
Like those Republicans who think that Stephen Colbert really is a conservative Republican, many of the early Christians who passed down Jesus’s story simply didn’t get it. They interpreted it through their ordinary blinders of Old Testament prophecy, as well as the belief that prayer can literally move mountains or part the Red Sea.
Today, let’s go back and re-read Matthew Chapter 21 and imagine Stephen Colbert (or Mark Twain) riding the ass and berating the fig tree. Palm Sunday will take on a new, and perhaps richer, meaning.
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The Living Hour’s SBNR motivational series combines history, literature, psychology, pop culture, and religion to help bring about new perspectives to Progressive Christianity and spirituality. Sign up by entering your email address into the “Opening the Small Gate” box in the right corner of this web page.
- Afterwards his disciples came to him, and said: “Why do you speak to them in parables?” “To you,” answered Jesus, “the knowledge of the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven has been given, but not to them. – Matthew 13:10-12 [↩]
- ”Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, hypocrites that you are! You pay tithes on mint, fennel, and caraway seed, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice, mercy, and good faith. These last you ought to have put into practice, without neglecting the first. You blind guides, to strain out a gnat and to swallow a camel! Woe to you, teachers of law and Pharisees, hypocrites that you are! – Luke 23:23-25 [↩]
Matthew – Gospel 21 – Parable of the Vineyard
June 13, 2009 by Administrator
Filed under Matthew
When they had almost reached Jerusalem, having come as far as Bethphage, on the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent on two disciples. 2 “Go to the village facing you,” he said, “and you will immediately find a donkey tethered, with a foal by her side; untie her, and lead her here for me. 3 And, if anyone says anything to you, you are to say this: ‘The Master wants them’; and he will send them at once.” 4 This happened in fulfillment of these words by the prophet: 5 ‘Say to the daughter of Zion: Behold, thy King is coming to thee, Gentle, and riding on an ass, and on the foal of a beast of burden.’”
6 So the disciples went and did as Jesus had directed them. 7 They led the ass and the foal back, and, when they had put their cloaks on them, he seated himself upon them. 8 The immense crowd of people spread their cloaks in the road, while some cut branches off the trees, and spread them on the road. 9 The crowds that led the way, as well as those that followed behind, kept shouting: “God save the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! God save him from on high!”
10 When he had entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred, and asked: 11 “Who is this?”, to which the crowd replied: “This is the prophet Jesus from Nazareth in Galilee.” 12 Jesus went into the temple courts, and drove out all those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money-changers, and the seats of the pigeon-dealers, 13 And said to them: “Scripture says: ‘My House shall be called a house of prayer’; but you are making it ‘a den of thieves.’”
14 While he was still in the temple courts, some blind and some lame people came up to him, and he cured them. 15 But, when the chief priests and the teachers of the law saw the wonderful things that Jesus did, and the boys who were calling out in the temple courts, “God save the Son of David!”, they were indignant, 16 And said to him: “Do you hear what these boys are saying?” “Yes,” answered Jesus; “but did you never read the words: ‘Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings thou has called forth perfect praise’?”
17 Then he left them, and went out of the city to Bethany, and spent the night there. 18 The next morning, in returning to the city, Jesus became hungry; 19 And, noticing a solitary fig tree by the road-side; he went up to it, but found nothing on it but leaves. So he said to it: “Never again shall fruit be gathered off you.” And suddenly the fruit tree withered up.
20 When the disciples saw this, they exclaimed in astonishment: “How suddenly the fig tree withered up!” 21 “I tell you,” replied Jesus, “if you have faith, without ever a doubt, you will do what not only has been done to the fig tree, but, even if you should say to this hill: ‘Be lifted up and hurled into the sea!’ it would be done. 22 And whatever you ask for in your prayers will, if you have faith, be granted you.” 23 After Jesus had come into the temple courts, the chief priests and the councilors of the nation came up to him as he was teaching, and said: “What authority have you to do these things? Who gave you this authority?”
24 “I, too,” said Jesus in reply, “will ask you one question; if you will give me an answer to it, then I, also, will tell you what authority I have to act as I do. 25 It is about John’s baptism. What was its origin? Divine or human?” But they began arguing among themselves: “If we say, ‘divine,’ he will say to us, ‘Why then did not you believe him?’ 26 But if we say, ‘human’, we are afraid of the people, for everyone regards John as a prophet.” 27 So the answer they gave Jesus was: “We do not know.”
“Then I,” Jesus said, “refuse to tell you what authority I have to do these things. 28 What do you think of this? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the elder and said, ‘Go and work in the vineyard today my son.’ 29 ‘Yes, sir,’ he answered; but he did not go. 30 Then the father went to the second son, and said the same. ‘I will not,’ he answered; but afterwards he was sorry and went.”
31 “Which of the two sons did as his father wished?” “The second,” they said. “I tell you,” added Jesus, “that tax-collectors and prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God before you. 32 For when John came to you, walking in the path of righteousness, you did not believe him, but tax-gatherers and prostitutes did; and yet you, though you saw this, even then were not sorry, nor did you believe him.”
33 “Listen to another parable. A man, who was an employer, once planted a vineyard, put a fence round it, dug a winepress in it, built a tower, and then rented it out to tenants and went abroad. 34 When the time for the vintage drew near, he sent his servants to the tenants, to receive his share of the produce. 35 But the tenants seized his servants, beat one, killed another, and stoned a third. 36 A second time the owner sent some servants, a larger number than before, and the tenants treated them in the same way.”
37 As a last resource he sent his son to them. ‘They will respect my son,’ he said. 38 But the tenants, on seeing his son, said to each other ‘Here is the heir! Come, let us kill him, and get his inheritance.’ 39 So they seized him, and threw him outside the vineyard, and killed him.”
40 Now, when the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those tenants?” 41 “Miserable wretches!” they exclaimed, “he will put them to a miserable death, and he will rent out the vineyard to other tenants, who will pay him his share of the produce at the proper times.”
42 Then Jesus added: “Have you never read in the scriptures that the very stone which the builders despised has now itself become the corner-stone; this corner-stone has come from the Lord, and is marvelous in our eyes’? 43 And that, I tell you, is why the kingdom of God will be taken from you, and given to a nation that does produce the fruit of the kingdom. 44 Yes, and he who falls on this stone will be dashed to pieces, while anyone on whom it falls, it will scatter him as dust.”
45 After listening to these parables, the chief priests and the Pharisees saw that it was about them that he was speaking. 46 Yet, although eager to arrest him, they were afraid of the crowds, who regarded him as a prophet.
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To read the next chapter of the Book of Matthew, please go to The Gospel of Matthew – 22.
This Online New Testament Gospel of Matthew is excerpted from the book The Living Hour: The Lord’s Prayer for Daily Life (with New Century Gospels). Including over 200 bookmarked citations from the canonical Gospels, this Progressive Christian book appeals to the Unitarian spirit at the heart of all faiths.
Challenge your perceptions on the Gospel of Christ, Jesus’s parables, and the Kingdom of God by purchasing The Lord’s Prayer book today. Produced by LivingHour.org, a Thailand-based small press dedicated to publishing unique Learn Thai Language books and eBooks, as well as works on progressive spirituality.
John – Gospel 1 – Beginnings: The Word As God
March 9, 2009 by Administrator
Filed under John
In the Beginning the Word was; and the Word was with God; and the Word was God. 2 The same was in the beginning with God; 3 Through him all things came into being, and nothing came into being apart from him. 4 That which came into being in him was life; and the life was the light of all; 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness never overpowered it.
6 There appeared a man sent from God, whose name was John; 7 He came as a witness: to bear witness to the light that through him all men might believe. 8 He was not the Light, but he came to bear witness to the Light. 9 That was the true Light which enlightens all who come into the world. 10 He was in the world; and through him the world came into being, yet the world did not know him.
11 He came to his own, yet his own did not receive him. 12 But to all who did receive him he gave power to become Children of God, to those who believe in his name. 13 For not to natural conception, nor to earthly passions, nor to human will did they owe the new life, but to God.
14 And the Word became Man, and dwelt among us. We saw his glory—the glory of the only Son sent from the Father, full of love and truth. 15 John bores witness to him; he cried aloud—for it was he who spoke: “‘He who is Coming’ after me is now before me, for he was ever first;” 16 Out of his fullness we have all received some gift, gift after gift of love; 17 For the law was given through Moses, but love and truth came through Jesus Christ. 18 No one has ever yet seen God; the only begotten Son, who is ever with the Father—He has revealed him.
19 When the Jews sent some priests and Levites to John from Jerusalem, to ask, “Who are you?” 20 He confessed and did answer: “I am not the Christ.” 21 “What then?” they asked. “Are you Elijah?” “No,” he said, “I am not.” “Are you ‘the prophet’?”
He answered, “No.” 22 “Who then are you?” they continued; “tell us, that we may have some answer to give to those who have sent us. What do you say about yourself?” 23 He said: “I am the voice of one crying aloud in the wilderness; make straight the way of the Lord,” as the prophet Isaiah said.”
24 These men had been sent from the Pharisees; 25 And their next question was: “Why then do you baptize, if you are not the Christ, nor Elijah, nor yet ‘the prophet’?” 26 John’s answer was: “I baptize with water, but among you stands one whom you do not know; 27 He is coming after me, yet I am not worthy even to unfasten his sandal.” 28 All this took place at Bethany, across the Jordan, where John was then baptizing.
29 The next day John saw Jesus coming towards him, and exclaimed: “Here is the Lamb of God, who is to take away the sin of the world! 30 It was of him that I spoke when I said: ‘After me there is coming a man who is now before me, for he was ever first.’ 31 I myself did not know him, but, that he may be made known to Israel, I have come, baptizing with water.”
32 John also made this statement: “I have seen the Spirit descending as a dove out of the heavens, and it remained upon him. 33 I myself did not know him, but he who sent me to baptize with water, he said to me: ‘He upon whom you see the Spirit descending, and remaining upon him—he it is who baptizes with the Holy Spirit.’ 34 This I have seen myself, and I have declared my belief that he is the Son of God.”
35 The next day, when John was standing with two of his disciples, 36 He looked at Jesus as he passed and exclaimed: “There is the Lamb of God!” 37 The two disciples heard him say this, and followed Jesus. 38 But Jesus turned round, and saw them following. “What are you looking for?” he asked.
They answered: “Rabbi,” (or, as we would say, “Teacher”), “where are you staying?” 39 “Come, and you shall see,” he replied. So they went, and saw where he was staying, and spent that day with him. It was then about four in the afternoon.
40 One of the two, who heard what John said and followed Jesus, was Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother. 41 He first found his own brother Simon, and said to him: “We have found the Messiah!” (a word which was being interpreted as the ‘Christ’). 42 Then he brought him to Jesus. Fixing his eyes on him, Jesus said: “You are Simon, the son of John; you shall be called Kephas” (which means a stone).
43 The following day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee. He found Philip, and said to him: “Follow me.” 44 Philip was from Bethsaida, and a fellow townsman of Andrew and Peter. 45 He found Nathanael and said to him: “We have found him of whom Moses wrote in the law, and of whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, Joseph’s son!” 46 “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” asked Nathanael. “Come and see,” replied Philip.
47 When Jesus saw Nathanael coming towards him, he said: “Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is no deceit!” 48 “How do you know me?” asked Nathanael. “Even before Philip called you,” replied Jesus, “when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” 49 “Rabbi,” Nathanael exclaimed, “you are the Son of God, you are King of Israel!”
50 “Do you believe in me,” asked Jesus, “because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You shall see greater things than those! 51 In truth I tell you,” he added, “you shall all see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.”
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To read the next chapter of the Book of John, please go to The Gospel of John – 2.
This Online New Testament Gospel of John is excerpted from the book The Living Hour: The Lord’s Prayer for Daily Life (with New Century Gospels). Including over 200 bookmarked citations from the canonical Gospels, this Progressive Christian book appeals to the Unitarian spirit at the heart of all faiths.
Challenge your perceptions on the Gospel of Christ, Jesus’s parables, and the Kingdom of God by purchasing The Lord’s Prayer book today. Produced by LivingHour.org, a Thailand-based small press dedicated to publishing unique Learn Thai Language books and eBooks, as well as works on progressive spirituality.
Matthew – Gospel 24 – The Son of Man & Fig Tree
February 15, 2009 by Administrator
Filed under Matthew
Leaving the temple courts, Jesus was walking away, when his disciples came up to draw his attention to the temple buildings. 2 “Do you see all these things?” he asked. “I tell you, not a single stone will be left here upon another, which will not be throne down,” 3 So, while Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, his disciples came up to him privately and said: “Tell us when this will be, and what will be the sign of your coming, and of the close of the age.”
4 Jesus replied to them as follows: “See that no one leads you astray; 5 For, many will take my name, and come saying ‘I am the Christ,’ and will lead many astray. 6 And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars; take care not to be alarmed, for such things must occur; but the end is not yet here. 7 For ‘nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom,’ and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8 All this, however, will be but the beginning of the birth pangs!”
9 “When that time comes, they will give you up to persecution, and will put you to death, and you will be hated by all nations on account of my name. 10 And then many will fall away, and will betray one another, and hate one another. 11 Many false prophets, also, will appear and lead many astray; 12 And, owing to the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold. 13 Yet those who endure to the end shall be saved. 14 And this gospel of the kingdom shall be proclaimed throughout the world as a witness to all nations; and then will come the end.”
15 “As soon, then, as you see ‘the foul desecration,’ mentioned by the prophet Daniel, standing in the holy place,” (whosoever reads this let them understand) 16 “Then those of you who are in Judea must take refuge in the mountains; 17 And those on the housetops must not go down to get their things that are in their houses; 18 Nor must those who are on their farm turn back to get their cloaks. 19 And woe to the women that are with child, and for those that are nursing infants in those days!”
20 “Pray, too, that your flight may not take place in winter, nor on a Sabbath; 21 For that will be ‘a time of great distress, the like of which has not occurred from the beginning of the world down to the present time’—no, nor ever will again. 22 And had not those days been limited, not a single soul would escape; but for the sake of ‘God’s People’ a limit will be put to them.”
23 “And, at that time, if anyone should say to you: ‘Look! Here is the Christ!’ or ‘Here he is!’ do not believe it; 24 For false Christs and false prophets will arise, and will display great signs and marvels, so that, were it possible, even God’s people would be led astray. 25 Remember, I have told you beforehand. 26 Therefore, if people say to you: ‘He is in the wilderness!’ do not go out there; or: ‘He is in an inner room!’ do not believe it; 27 For, just as lightning will start from the east and flash across to the west, so will it be with the coming of the Son of Man. 28 Wherever a dead body lies, there will the vultures flock.’”
29 “Immediately after the distress of those days, ‘the sun will be darkened, the moon will not give her light, the stars will fall from the heavens,’ and ‘the forces of the heavens will be convulsed.’ 30 Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in the heavens; and all the peoples of the earth will mourn, when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the heavens,’ with power and great glory; 31 And he will send his angels, with a great trumpet, and they will gather his people round him from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.”
32 “Learn the lesson taught by the fig tree. As soon as its branches are full of sap, and it is bursting into leaf, you know that summer is near. 33 And so may you, as soon as you see all these things, know that he is at your doors. 34 I tell you, even the present generation will not pass away, till all these things have taken place. 35 The heavens and the earth will pass away, but my words shall never pass away.”
36 “But about that day and hour, no one knows: not even the angels of heaven, nor yet the Son, but only the Father himself. 37 For, just as in the days of Noah, so will it be at the coming of the Son of Man. 38 In those days before the flood they went on eating and drinking, marrying and being married, up to the very day on which Noah entered the ark, 39 Taking not notice till the flood came and swept them one and all away; and so will it be at the coming of the Son of Man.”
40 “At that time, two shall be in the field, one will be taken and the other left; 41 Two shall be grinding at the mill, one will be taken and the other left. 42 Therefore watch; for you cannot be sure on what day your Lord is coming. 43 But this you do know, that, had the owner of the house known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have been on the watch, and would not have allowed his house to be broken into. 44 Therefore, do you also prepare, since it is just when you are least expecting him that the Son of Man will come.”
45 “Who then are those trustworthy, careful servants, who have been placed by their master over their household, to give them their food at the proper time? 46 Happy will those servants be whom their master, when he comes home, shall find doing this. 47 I tell you that his master will put them in charge of the whole of his property.”
48 “But, should they be a bad servants, and say to themselves, ‘My master is a long time in coming,’ 49 And begin to beat their fellow-servants, and eat and drink with drunkards, 50 Those servants’ master will come on a day when they do not expect him, and at an hour of which they are unaware, 51 And will flog them severely, and assign them their place among the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and grinding of teeth.”
To read the next chapter of the Book of Matthew, please go to The Gospel of John – 25.
This Online New Testament Gospel of Matthew is excerpted from the book The Living Hour: The Lord’s Prayer for Daily Life (with New Century Gospels). Including over 200 bookmarked citations from the canonical Gospels, this Progressive Christian book appeals to the Unitarian spirit at the heart of all faiths.
Challenge your perceptions on the Gospel of Christ, Jesus’s parables, and the Kingdom of God by purchasing The Lord’s Prayer book today. Produced by LivingHour.org, a Thailand-based small press dedicated to publishing unique Learn Thai Language books and eBooks, as well as works on progressive spirituality.
Mark – Gospel 13 – Be On Your Watch!
November 21, 2008 by Administrator
Filed under Mark
As Jesus was walking out of the temple courts, one of his disciples said to him: “Teacher, look what fine stones and buildings these are!” 2 “Do you see these great buildings?” asked Jesus. “Not a single stone will be left here upon another, which shall not be thrown down.” 3 When Jesus had sat down on the Mount of Olives, facing the temple, Peter, James, John and Andrew questioned him privately: 4 “Tell us when this will be, and what will be the sign when all this is drawing to its close.”
5 Then Jesus began: “See that no one leads you astray. 6 Many will take my name, and come saying ‘I am He’, and will lead many astray. 7 And, when you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed; such things must occur; but the end is not yet. 8 For ‘nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom;’ there will be earthquakes in various places; there will be famines. This will be but the beginning of the birth-pangs.”
9 “See to yourselves! They will betray you to courts of law; and you will be taken to synagogues and beaten; and you will be brought up before governors and kings for my sake, that you may bear witness before them. 10 But the gospel must first be proclaimed to every nation. 11 Whenever they betray you and hand you over for trial, do not be anxious beforehand as to what you shall say, but say whatever is given you at the moment; for it will not be you who speak, but the Holy Spirit.”
12 “Brother will betray brother to death, and the father his child; and children will turn against their parents, and cause them to be put to death; 13 And you will be hated by everyone on account of my name. Yet the man that endures to the end shall be saved.”
14 “As soon, however, as you see ‘the abomination of desolation’ standing where he ought not” (let those who read understand) “then those of you who are in Judea must take refuge in the mountains; 15 And those on the house-tops must not go down, or go in to get anything out of their houses; 16 Nor must anyone who are on their farms turn back to get their cloaks. 17 And woe to the women that are with child, and for those that are nursing infants in those days!”
18 “Pray, too, that this may not occur in winter. 19 For those days will be a time of distress, the like of which has not occurred from the beginning of God’s creation until now, and never will again. 20 And, had not the Lord put a limit to those days, not a single soul would escape; but, for the sake of God’s own chosen people, he did limit them. 21 And at that time if anyone should say to you: ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ ‘Look, there he is!’, do not believe it; 22 For false Christs and false prophets will arise, and display signs and marvels, to lead astray, were it possible, even God’s people. 23 But see that you are on your guard! I have told you all this beforehand.”
24 “In those days, after that time of distress, ‘the sun will be darkened, the moon will not give her light, 25 The stars will be falling from the heavens,’ and ‘the forces that are in the heavens will be convulsed.’ 26 Then will be seen the ‘Son of Man coming in clouds’ with great power and glory; 27 And then he will send the angels, and gather his people from the four winds, from one end of the world to the other. 28 Learn the lesson taught by the fig-tree. As soon as its branches are full of sap, and it is bursting into leaf, you know that summer is near. 29 And so may you, as soon as you see these things happening, know that he is at your doors.”
30 “I tell you that even the present generation will not pass away, until all these things have taken place. 31 Heavens and the earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away. 32 But about that day or the hour, no one knows—not even the angels in heaven, nor yet the Son, but only the Father. 33 See that you are on the watch; for you do not know when the time will be.”
34 It is like a man going on a journey, who leaves his home, puts his servants in charge—each having his special duty—and orders the porter to watch. 35 Therefore watch, for you cannot be sure when the Master of the house is coming—whether in the evening, at midnight, at daybreak, or in the morning, 36 Else he should come suddenly and find you asleep. 37 And what I say to you I say to all: watch!”
To read the next chapter of the Book of Mark, please go to: The Gospel of Mark – 14.
This Online New Testament Gospel of Mark is excerpted from the book The Living Hour: The Lord’s Prayer for Daily Life (with New Century Gospels). Including over 200 bookmarked citations from the canonical Gospels, this Progressive Christian book appeals to the Unitarian spirit at the heart of all faiths.
Challenge your perceptions on the Gospel of Christ, Jesus’s parables, and the Kingdom of God by purchasing The Lord’s Prayer book today. Produced by LivingHour.org, a Thailand-based small press dedicated to publishing unique Learn Thai Language books and eBooks, as well as works on progressive spirituality.
